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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28078335">Heroes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serena_Rose/pseuds/Serena_Rose'>Serena_Rose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Good Place (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Kiss, Grocery Shopping, Past Cheleanor referenced, dealing with Karens, mentions of torture</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:28:32</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,837</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28078335</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serena_Rose/pseuds/Serena_Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>While shopping for food on Earth, Eleanor finds there are some creatures that even demons need protecting from.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Michael (The Good Place) &amp; Eleanor Shellstrop, Michael (The Good Place)/Eleanor Shellstrop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Heroes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by a prompt from @icecreamhotelpatrol who asked for domestic Hellstrop fluff with the two of them holding hands in a grocery store. I sorta took that and ran with it by adding conflict and plot, turning into an emotional h/c minific as I tend to do! Parts of this are also a stressed out retail worker venting certain feelings, if it wasn't obvious.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hang on. You’ve been on Earth for a year and you’ve never been in a supermarket?” Eleanor asks her demon companion, watching him push the cart with the same enthusiasm as a kid would pushing their doll in a stroller.</p><p>“Nope! Except for the convenience stores to buy your lottery tickets.” Michael explains, twisting it from side to side as if to test the wheels; “Janet can’t eat and I don’t have to so we didn’t have any reason to go shopping. All the stuff we bought for our hideaway and for you guys was online.”</p><p>Eleanor shakes her head at the giddy expression on his face.</p><p>“You know one of those things almost killed me, right? Maybe don’t look like you’re falling in love with it so much. It’s kinda weird even without that little fact.”</p><p>“Maybe that’s why I like them, ‘cause they’re the reason I….” He bites his lip just as Eleanor wonders where exactly he was going with that; “Ehh, I mean…Wow! Look at all those cereal mascots! We’ve gotta get the one with the purple demon on the front!”</p><p>She groans and grabs his sleeve.</p><p>“Easy there, bud. We’re supposed to be buying picnic food, we don’t need breakfast stuff.” Crap, since when did she have to be the responsible one? She used to be cool, damn it. “Y’know, I was always pissed off that Count Chocula stuff turned the milk brown instead of red. I mean it’s a vampire, it just makes sense, right?”</p><p>“Oh, that would be awesome. Kinda like the brains in blood we would give humans for breakfast in the Bad Place.”</p><p>She widens her eyes at him, having to stop dead in the aisle.</p><p>The glee quickly fades from Michael’s face as he catches her expression; “Ah. I took it too far, didn’t I.”</p><p>“Little bit. Maybe keep quiet about the whole ‘I worked for Hell’ thing when we’re in public, yeah?” She pats his elbow; “Y’know what, grab the cereal. Who says you can only eat that stuff at a certain time of day? It’s not like we’re gonna lose points for that.”</p><p>“Right! Well, you would, but…”</p><p>“We’re already damned, right? Go nuts.”</p><p>Her companion puts a couple boxes of Count Chocula and Cookie Crisp into the cart. If the guys wanted them to bring healthy food to this picnic then they really shouldn’t have put a trash bag and a demon in charge of the shopping list. She’s sure Tahani and Chidi know her well enough by now to bring a back-up supply of veg and fruit to balance the processed meats and sugar-packed sweet stuff they’ll buy.</p><p>She wonders if inmates on Death Row who know they’ve got nothing left to lose always order garbage food for their last meal? That’s how she often feels most mornings when she wakes up to remember that eternal torture awaits her whenever the time comes to kick the bucket. That is, unless, Michael and Janet are able to get to them in time to sweep them out of the grasp of the first torturer in line for his next human toy.</p><p>“Hey, do you reckon they sell churro dogs here?” Michael asks her.</p><p>“You know what churro dogs are?”</p><p>“Yeah, you mentioned them to me…about three hundred years ago, I haven’t been able to stop thinking trying one.” He sweeps some packets of packaged little cakes into the cart; “I asked Janet to summon me one once but it disintegrated in her hand.”</p><p>“That’s not surprising.” Not even a heavenly being could fully handle replicating such food; “I don’t think this place has a bakery…but we could grab some sausages, churros and slim-jims. Only a true Arizona soul knows how to make them right!”</p><p>It’s the one recipe she’s confident in completing herself, which was a little bit sad when she thought about it. And then she stopped caring because, fuck it, who would bother cooking when there were twelve Chinese take-outs along her street, three of them without health code violations?</p><p>“Okay, how about I get that stuff and you get the margarita mix?” Michael suggests, offering her the handle to the cart.</p><p>“What made you think I wanted to get-.” She snaps her fingers as she remembers; “Right! The whole ‘I read your life story in a file thing’.”</p><p>“That and I can see you feet shuffling towards the alcohol aisle.”</p><p>“It’s been a rough month, okay!”</p><p>Michael holds his palms up; “Demon here. Not judging!”</p><p>A passing couple turns their head, frowning in confusion.</p><p>“H-he means he’s a lawyer.” Eleanor assures them, which makes them then nod before moving away, very swiftly. She gives his arm a light punch; “Volume, dude, remember. Now go get our tasty crap.”</p><p>She nudges him to get his ash in gear, perhaps giving it a cheeky glance when he turns his back on her. Hmm. Not as nice as Chidi’s or Tahani’s, but he compensated in other ways. Like how fucking adorable he could be gushing over little human stuff, making Eleanor feel more like a kid than she ever did when she actually was one. Or that memory where he was all dishevelled with his bow-tie undone, bringing up her childhood crush.</p><p>And when he’s able to be somewhat commanding, making his voice go all deep, his face so close to hers. <em>I know everything about you.</em> Damn. The porno shoot in that café had almost started ten minutes too early. It was lucky Eleanor already literally had cold water (or tea) poured over her.</p><p>She steers the shopping cart to the other side of the store, helping herself to the bottle of Lonely Girl (at least this time it wasn’t accurate) and some other bottles for her friends. Bailey’s for Tahani, merlot for Chidi and something called Crazy Al’s Nuclear Absinthe for Jason. Janet doesn’t drink so Eleanor makes a mental note to look for a little magnet toy in the kid’s section. At least that visit to her mom and Dave’s got Michael to appreciate margaritas, but she grabs some Jack Daniels in case he wants another option.</p><p>This little alfresco they had planned in the nearby park was probably going to get a bit wild with all the booze on offer but whatever. They’d done a good job travelling around the world, righting wrongs, helping their loved ones out. They had earned a little party.</p><p>“Sorry to mess up your display.” She jokes to the retail worker trying to tidy the shelves.</p><p>“Wow, ma’am, you’re the first customer to stay that. Congratulations.” The monotone worker who’s tag says ‘Helen’ looks at her with eyes devoid of hope before she pulls the bottles from the back forward from where Eleanor took the front ones.</p><p>She opens her mouth to snark back at the woman who looks twenty-two going on sixty before remembering she’s unfairly snapped at enough shop workers in her life. So she holds her tongue.</p><p>“Seriously, babe…I hope your shift goes quick.”</p><p>The employee looks genuinely stunned and almost bursts into tears; “Oh, thank you!”</p><p>God, is a little bit of kindness so rare working here?</p><p>The next few items Eleanor picks up, she makes sure to leave the shelves tidy before she goes. Huh, that really isn’t so hard.</p><p>She’s swerving the cart back towards the other end of the shop to catch up with her shopping pal when she hears a commotion nearby. Someone raising their voice, turning ever other shoppers heads.</p><p>“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!”</p><p>“I’m so sorry, I didn’t-.”</p><p>“Don’t think I don’t know what game you’re playing! Are you some kinda pervert?!”</p><p>“No, God, I just…”</p><p>
  <em>Michael?</em>
</p><p>Eleanor quickens her pace, pushing the cart faster and moving around a corner to the candy section. A few others have also stopped to glance at the show she finds.</p><p>Her friend is standing with his back to the shelves, holding one of those little candy floss mixers in his hands, all six feet of him suddenly looking ridiculously small in the shadow of the woman confronting him. The pinched-face soccer mom in a baseball cap has her hand wrapped tight around a very uncomfortable looking six-year-old stood at her side, her eyes on her shoe-laces.</p><p>“I asked you a question! What do you think you’re doing giving that to my kid?! You trying to lure her into your van or something?!” Poor Michael is hit with the spit between each of her heated accusations.</p><p>He puts the box back on the top shelf; “N-no, she was just looking at it! I thought she might like it-“</p><p>“You think I can afford to waste my money on crap like that?” She points one of her glittery false nails at Michael; “Or were you hoping to get her to steal it?”</p><p>“I would have bought it for her.”</p><p><em>Oh, dude, please stop.</em> Eleanor cringes, fingers gripping around the handles for a moment before she lets go.</p><p>The mom’s jaw drops, as if she’s caught him out, and she starts trying to call over the nearest retail worker.</p><p>“Staff! <em>Hello!</em> Staff!” She shouts at the eighteen-year-old, chubby boy in a red vest down the aisle; “You gonna kick this creep out?! Or are you fine with letting him go around tempting kids with candy? Is your manager around?! Would he be happy if I told him you were standing there doing fuck all to protect my baby?”</p><p>
  <em>Jesus….</em>
</p><p>She looks at Michael. The poor guy is barely making an effort to defend himself, his body trembling, lips dry, as if he’s on the brink of shutting down or curling into a foetal position. She suddenly remembers the demon she encountered in the memories shown to her. The big bad devil whose most diabolical acts were blowing a raspberry at the idea of love and making childish empty threats between pulling the strings like a kid bashing his G.I Joes together. <em>I didn’t want you to see how cruel I used to be, but I’m different now…</em></p><p>Even the pathetic overgrown brat she had seen was miles away from the meek, tall cream-puff before her now. Easy prey for the local Neighbourhood Watch Queen.</p><p>“Hey!”</p><p>The mom and Michael turn their heads as Eleanor marches over, standing between the both of them. A small but sturdy shield.</p><p>She turns to her friend first, putting a hand on his arm.</p><p>“Everything okay?” She asks, softly, seeing him shaking from the shrill sound of the woman’s voice that’s drowning out the store radio.</p><p>“’Scuse me, mind your own damn-.”</p><p>“I wasn’t talking to you, Karen!” Eleanor snaps back at her; “May I call you Karen?”</p><p>“What? No, my name is Charl-.”</p><p>“Okay, Karen, just kindly shut your mouth for a moment, so I can find out what happened here!” Eleanor puts a finger up in the woman’s face, making her gawp, before she turns to Michael, asking gently again; “Tell me, man.”</p><p>“It’s nothing, Eleanor, I swear. The little girl, Josie-.”</p><p>“How the fuck do you know her name?!”</p><p>“I <em>told</em> him, Mom.” The kid pipes up, looking as though she’s wishing the ground would swallow her up.</p><p>“Stay outta this, baby!”</p><p>Eleanor ignores her.</p><p>“I was grabbing the slim-jims and saw her trying to reach for the cotton candy machine. I grabbed it for her so she could take a look, and then we just started talking, she said her friend had one at a slumber party and I asked her what that was and I…We were just talking, Eleanor, honest! Then her mom appeared and just started shouting.” Michael’s words become more panicked, descending into fretful whispers as he focuses purely on telling her what happened; “Y-you gotta know I’d never try and do anything bad, not like that, please-.”</p><p>“Shh, it’s okay.” Her heart breaks at the worry on his face, how anxious he looks as he glances to the side and sees all the suspicious eyes on him. He seems to hunch a little before her, touching her hand that’s holding his wrist; “I know, buddy, don’t worry.”</p><p>“Is he your dad or something?! You shouldn’t let him wander off alone if he’s senile.” ‘Karen’ snarls from behind her.</p><p>That’s it! She was planning on just abandoning the food and leading Michael out by the hand, but that’s not gonna happen. Some people need to be taught, and who better to teach Arizona trash than the former Queen Trashbag?</p><p>Feeling the spark in her belly, Eleanor turns to the woman with a smirk.</p><p>“For your information, Karen, he’s not my dad, he’s…” Oh boy, here she goes. Eleanor takes Michael’s hand and links their fingers; “He’s my husband!”</p><p>‘Karen’ scoffs; “Seriously?”</p><p>“Yeah, seriously?” Michael mumbles to her.</p><p>Yes, fucking, seriously!</p><p>At least, as far as she needs this woman and the crowd watching to be aware. Does she need to prove it? She doesn’t have any rings on their fingers, but…screw it.</p><p>She leans up on her toes, moving her palm up to caress his cheek, turning his lips towards hers so she can give them a soft, lasting kiss. There’s the faintest hum of surprise from Michael but he doesn’t pull away. He barely responds, his hand hovering behind her shoulder, before she moves back, giving him her best adoring gaze as her fingers stroke his cheek.</p><p>“You bet your ass he is.”</p><p>Michael seems to have lost the ability to blink.</p><p>“I guess even having a wife as young as you wasn’t enough to satisfy him, babe.” The woman cringes, looking between the two of them; “Dirty bastard.”</p><p>“Eleanor-.”</p><p>No, she is going somewhere with this!</p><p>She squeezes his hand again, straightening up; “There’s only seven years between us, not that it matters. The reason he looks that old is because he served three tours in Iraq and, on his last one, spent six months held captive by the enemy! Since he came back, I’ve barely managed to get him out of the house, do you know how difficult it is just to get him to step out the front door, let alone come to the store?! This is a big achievement for him and you just crapped all over it! He’s not a pervert, lady, he’s a fucking war hero! Show some respect!”</p><p>Eleanor lets that hang in the air, seeing the sudden shift in ‘Karen’s’ expression as she reels back.</p><p>“Oh! Well…That’s no excuse to just go talking to random kids-.” She stammers, obviously realising the tables have now turned.</p><p>“Do you know how many kids he saw get hurt out there? He’s barely been able to go near a child without bursting into tears! He just wanted to do something nice but you decided to assume the worst and try to humiliate him! I hope you feel good about yourself!”</p><p>Eleanor slips her arm through Michael’s, trying to lead him back to their cart in the middle of the aisle. The crowd that were watching are now cheering, suddenly swayed to their side by that little ‘twist’, but Eleanor pretends they’re no there.</p><p>‘Karen’ clears her throat; “Uhm…I’m sorry. I…I didn’t know. I have total respect for our troops and…thank you for your service.”</p><p>Eleanor doesn’t need super demonic vision to detect the bullshit in that statement. The woman just doesn’t want to risk appearing anymore like the bad guy in case anyone is livestreaming this on their phone.</p><p>Michael gives an awkward nod.</p><p>“Is it okay if I buy your daughter the toy?” He asks, sheepishly.</p><p>“No. I mean, it’s fine, I can get it for her, don’t trouble yourself.” The staff member who was hovering nearby, nervously, quickly goes to grab the cotton candy machine, passing it to the mom who is very quick to take it to the tills.</p><p>The little girl turns her reddened face up towards her friend.</p><p>“Thanks, Mister…Sorry.”</p><p>“S’fine, sweetie.” Michael says quietly before the kid trots off after her mom.</p><p>Eleanor lets out a sigh of relief, hearing the people nearby go back to their shopping routine now that the entertainment has passed. She’s about to drop the act when the young worker from earlier approaches them.</p><p>“Are you guys okay? I’m really sorry that happened, we were about to call security, but not on you.” The boy whose badge reads Dennis says.</p><p>“It’s fine, dude. All just a misunderstanding…and your typical entitled bitchy customer, nothing we can’t handle.” She gives Michael’s arm a squeeze; “Right, babe?”</p><p>She hears him gulp, still stumped for words. Did she really shake him up that much? Or is he committed to selling the shellshocked veteran act?</p><p>“I feel bad though. My grandpa was ex-military.” Dennis says, his attention on Michael; “He told me some awful stories of the kinda shit he went through. And all the nightmares and flashbacks he has when the smallest things trigger those memories, y’know. I can’t imagine surviving anything like that. You’re a hero, man.”</p><p>“Oh! I’m…I’m really not!” Michael deflects, cheeks turning a deep pink.</p><p>Eleanor tuts; “He’s so modest! Only a true hero would be so humble, is what I try to tell him!” She attempts a laugh, catching a whiff of what she assumes is demon sweat (which oddly smells like sweet and sour sauce) coming off of him in his discomfort.</p><p>“As an apology, we’d be happy to let you use a veterans discount policy?” the boy, who Eleanor is starting to think might actually be the manager or a supervisor, offers.</p><p>“Well-.” Eleanor attempts to agree before Michael suddenly snaps out of his freeze mode.</p><p>“No, no, that won’t be necessary, thank you!” He puts his arm around Eleanor’s shoulders and they go back to their cart; “Can we just pay and leave? Please?”</p><p>She tries not to give him a scowling for not letting them take this scam all the way, before she remembers the whole ‘supposed to be doing good’ deal and appreciates that fraud might be taking the whole reckless indulgence thing a little too far. They make sure to grab the churro buns on their way so that whole event wasn't completely wasted. Other people still turn their heads when they pass so Eleanor keeps a hold of Michael’s hand all the way to the tills. Most of the time they’re given sympathetic smiles, with Michael trying his best to avoid eye contact, clearly not wanting another dose of hero worship.</p><p>Michael politely refuses the Kroger staffs offer of helping them carry their shopping to the car. Eleanor catches the impressed whispers as they watch what looks to be a seventy odd year old man not even struggle to carry two tightly packed bags full of chocolate, sandwich fillings and booze across the parking lot. <em>It is kinda hot, not gonna lie. </em></p><p>What else would he have little trouble picking up?</p><p>She waits until they’re in the car, doors closed, before breaking the silence.</p><p>“Boy, wasn’t that intense!” She chuckles, “We sure put that bossy bertha in her place, didn’t we? Hopefully she’ll think twice about losing her rag in public like that.”</p><p>Michael stays quiet, reversing out and manoeuvring around towards the exit. There’s a sombre, repressed shadow under his eyes as he keeps his focus on the road and avoiding the other shoppers making their way to and from the store.</p><p>
  <em>Oh-kay. So not ready to talk about it just yet.</em>
</p><p>It’s only a short ride to the park. Eleanor decides to give him his quiet moment to process as they make their way there. The sky is already turning a pretty shade of pink and violet as they drive, letting the generic pop music on the radio stop it from becoming too annoying to wait out. Eleanor’s phone buzzes just before they reach their destination.</p><p>“Text from Tahani. Something about them being delayed because Jason accidentally caused a bomb scare. Can only imagine what that’s about.” Eleanor explains after reading it; “She said they’ll be ten minutes late so we can get set up.”</p><p>Michael nods, opening the trunk to get the bags out; “Cool.”</p><p>He couldn’t have said that with less enthusiasm if he tried.</p><p>Eleanor grabs the large blanket, folding it over her arms.</p><p>“Listen…Don’t let her get to you, man.” She walks beside him as they try to find a wide patch of grass to set up their picnic, preferably far away from ears that might catch any talks of afterlife points and immortal beings; “People like that are everywhere in Arizona. Hell, I saw my mom fly off the handle at people in supermarkets more times than I could count as a kid…and that’s where I learned to do it myself when I was older to get what I wanted and feel bigger than someone else.”</p><p>She remembers the time she took Julie to the ice cream parlour and faked slipping on a puddle that didn’t exist so the staff would be distracted while her cousin took extra ‘free samples’ of the mint chocolate on the counter. She’s hardly been a shopping saint herself in the past.</p><p>“She was worried about her daughter.” Michael mumbles, removing his bow-tie, breathing out as if the thing had been choking him.</p><p>
  <em>Fuck, there he goes again with that…</em>
</p><p>“If that’s all it was, she’d have just lead the kid away and kept quiet, but she wanted to make a show because bored bitches like that who regret their life choices crave attention! And if they get to be leaders of their own lynch mob, they get to be heroes as well, but too bad for her, she chose to pick on the wrong fake-human.” She says, laying the blanket down on the most deserted spot they come across.</p><p>They both settle down onto their knees with the grocery bags between them. Eleanor starts getting out some paper plates and cups, along with the large bottle of Pepsi Max.</p><p>Michael scratches the back of his hand.</p><p>“I was worried that was it…”</p><p>Eleanor looks at him; “What d’you mean?”</p><p>“I thought she…saw me. S-saw what I really was.” He gulps, looking down; “I mean, you saw through me before, maybe she could see it too…that I wasn’t really human…That she knew I was a…”</p><p>“A what, bud?”</p><p>He looks up at her.</p><p>“A monster.”</p><p>Eleanor stares at him, seeing the eyes of a kicked puppy looking back at her. She takes a deep breath. Then she laughs.</p><p>Her companion frowns.</p><p>“Well. I’m glad one of us finds my greatest fear hilarious! And now I’m appreciating the irony…Fuck it.” Michael grumbles, reaching for that bottle of J.D to mix with his soda.</p><p>Eleanor stifles her giggles, wiping a tear from her eyes.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry…It’s just the idea of you thinking you’re…Y’know. This terrifying evil villain! You! Michael!” She can’t hold it back, she has to break out into another laughing fit.</p><p>“Yes? That was me? Remember the part where I said I tortured you for centuries?”</p><p>“Yeah, with pooping lizards and jazz-playing fake soul mates! That’s hardly prime sadist material, dude. I mean I only saw a couple of those reboots but, be honest, did you ever actually <em>hurt</em> any of us?” She challenges, getting out a packet of crackers with some cheese.</p><p>“No, not physically…I mean the purple space bubble probably did give Chidi a nose-bleed but he was fine after that.” Michael waves off; “It’s not the point, though! My whole goal during that experiment was to make you miserable without the traditional means.”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure, if you wanted to, you could’ve thrown in some lightning or lava while still making us think we were in the Good Place, but you didn’t! And I’d wager it’s because deep, deep, deep down inside that suit of yours, you didn’t really want to hurt us. I mean what was to stop you from throwing a few elephants when I figured you out, if you were going to reset us anyway?”</p><p>He looks stumped by that, taking a sip of his drink as he fumbles around in his dumb brain for a response that he’s not gonna find. Because even without all her memories, Eleanor knows him. He might not always say the right thing or know how to do basic shit like comfort your friends during awful family drama, but he <em>cares</em>. That’s obvious to see.</p><p>“I used to do that stuff…to the humans I met before you.” He responds, looking pained again; “I hurt humans in ways you can’t even imagine for thousands of years-.”</p><p>“Why does that matter now?” Eleanor cuts him off, shuffling closer on the blanket.</p><p>She reaches her hand out to him only for Michael to grab her wrist in mid-air.</p><p>“Because I’m not a hero!”</p><p>His voice rises only to break, fingers holding onto her tight, as he meets her gaze. The plastic cup in his other hand nearly spills over from his sudden movement. It’s the most that Eleanor has ever heard him truly raise his voice, not counting the tirade about soul mates being fake in the memory machine.</p><p>His thumb smooths over the veins pulsing against the thin layers of skin on her wrist. Both of them take a moment to stare at the point of contact. Is he also thinking how easy it would be for him to snap her hand off if he wanted?</p><p>It’s a strangely enticing thought that flashes through Eleanor’s head. Not the thought of being hurt…more the idea that he could, so simply, with such brutality…</p><p>But he wouldn’t dare.</p><p>He lets her go, Eleanor’s hand remaining to hover there. She watches him lower his gaze.</p><p>“That kid compared me to his grandfather, a real soldier.” Michael carries on, lowering his voice; “That guy fought to help people…He didn’t spend centuries pulling them apart like blocks of lego. The nightmares he has are of people he wanted to save getting hurt…or the enemy getting to him or his friends…They’re not…nightmares of people he enjoyed turning inside out or filling their jeans with flesh-eating maggots. I’m not a…Damn it, I know you wanted to help, but I wish you’d chosen a different lie.”</p><p>He removes his glasses to rub at his forehead, as if suffering from the worst sudden headache. Eleanor feels the smallest sting of guilt at having used a serious issue as a cover up, which she never would have had when taking her crutches through the airport before. She was trying to be better but the Karen pushed her to extremes.</p><p>“I’m sorry, bud.” She reaches to touch his cheek; “There’s probably a million other things I could’ve come up with but that one just seemed the best at the time to make her feel guilty as shit for picking on you like that. Rednecks like her are unlikely to be against those ‘fighting for ‘Merica.’ Or, at least, there’s no way she could have got out of that without looking like a nutjob from Westboro.”</p><p>He shakes his head; “It’s fine…I am grateful you stood up for me.” He gives her a warm smile; “In all the time I’ve been on Earth, that was the first time a human who wasn’t you guys was ever really mean to me when…I just wanted to do something nice for her kid. She looked…Well, she kinda made me think of you at the McDonald’s ballpit and those other stories you told me…”</p><p>Michael sighs, biting his bottom lip.</p><p>“Y’know…I’d give anything to be able to go back in time and make sure you had a better childhood but…this is where we are so,  I thought, maybe I could just see that one other potential Eleanor got something cool to play with.” He blushes again; “Silly, huh.”</p><p>“No, not silly. That’s adorable.” Eleanor finds herself sitting even closer, her knee pressing up against his; “And again, totally disproving your whole ‘I’m a monster’ claim.”</p><p>“I’m sure as There no soldier.” Michael deflects.</p><p>“Seriously? That whole trip into the Bad Place you told us about, sneaking us in all cloak and dagger, getting us to the Judge…Sounds like something a soldier would do to smuggle civilians or prisoners to safety.” Eleanor reasons; “I hope I get to see that memory someday so I can see for myself if it’s as dashing and exciting as what my mind is picturing.”</p><p>“Oh, I think you’d be let down, in all honesty…” Michael avoids her gaze.</p><p>That just makes her think it’s even better than what she imagines. Did he do something really badass? Did he sword-fight a bunch of demons? Did he bust out some awesome demon fireball powers to save the day?</p><p>No spoilers. It’s the one missing memory she wants to relive herself when the time is right.</p><p>“You’ll never let us down, bud. I truly believe that.” Eleanor assures him, taking his hand again, holding it over the meeting spot of their knees; “You might have done shitty things in the past, just like I did, but that’s just it. It’s the past. And for the past two years or whatever, you’ve done literally nothing else but save us, time and time again. I call that a hero.”</p><p>Michael sniffs. Drops of tears prick at the corner of his eyes. Eleanor’s fingers squeeze around his. She had no idea he was so self-conscious about this.</p><p>“I didn’t save you…I doomed you. I failed.” His lip wobbles and, fuck, she thinks of kissing it to make it still again.</p><p>Instead, she lets the thumb of her other hand brush the corner of his mouth.</p><p>“We were always doomed, Michael, no matter what we did. It’s not your fault. And none of us are giving up yet, eternally damned or not.” Eleanor asserts, realising just how close his face is getting, the more she leans in; “So don’t go giving up on yourself, okay? Especially not because of some loud mouth Kroger cow, ‘cause that’s what her kind feed off of.”</p><p>He gives a soft chuckle; “Like vampires?”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s her kind that give poor Count Choc a bad rap.” She laughs with him, moving to bump her shoulder against his arm. Could they get any closer? There are so many couples having picnics in this park who have far more air between them.</p><p>Michael blinks at her, moving his other hand to brush her hair from her face as he gazes at her.</p><p>“One more thing…Why did you lie that I was your husband?”</p><p>Ah.</p><p>She was waiting for that one.</p><p>“No way was I gonna let you play the dad role again. Not after the last big disaster.” Eleanor warns.</p><p>“I know, I sucked, I still don’t know what I was thinking, I just…Why husband? Why not just ‘friend’? Or some kinda family?”</p><p>“People tend to have more sympathy for wives of PTSD vets. Folks love a good romance, the idea of the hot young woman still choosing to stay with her scarred, traumatised hero and supporting him…I mean, that’s classic Hallmark movie material.” Eleanor tries to explain, knowing exactly how to play off sympathy in the right way; “Just saying ‘friend’ always leads people to assume lovers anyway, but married is like…wholesome and shit. I just know how Arizona mobs tend to sway their favor.”</p><p>“Oh.” Michael looks impressed; “That makes sense! Wow, I always did think, with your level of perception, you’d have been able to run a fake Heaven better than I ever could.”</p><p>“Best compliment. Thanks.” Eleanor grins; “Plus it was pretty fun pretending to be your fake wife.”</p><p>“It was?”</p><p>“Hmm…I mean, sorry about the kiss, if that made you uncomfortable. It was the best I could do to make up for the lack of rings…”</p><p>Michael shakes his head; “Oh, no, it was…fine, actually. I mean…I still don’t get why you use food holes for that purpose but it wasn’t….<em>Not</em> nice…” his eyes wonder down to her lips again.</p><p>The distance between them is so little that she can smell that unique scent of his again, the sweet and sour tang in the air. If only human body odor smelled as tasty.</p><p>“…Do you wanna try it again?”</p><p>He pauses. His parted lips seem to say ‘yes’ even when no sound exits.</p><p>Then he blinks; “But…I just finished showing you memories of you falling in love with someone else? Someone you-.”</p><p>“Someone who I dated several lifetimes ago and who only broke up with his current girlfriend of a year recently, just 'cause he wanted to protect her. A girlfriend who was my friend too…” Eleanor states; “I’ve got no interest in starting anything with Chidi…<em>Yet</em>. Especially not if another opportunity happens to be presenting itself.”</p><p>Her hand slides around to the back of Michael’s neck as she moves up onto her knees, matching her height to his as they sit on the blanket. She moves her other hand around to connect them together, looking down on him.</p><p>Michael takes a breath, moving to hold her sides, eyes scanning her from her middle up to her face, looking up at her as if the heavens had opened just for him.</p><p>“…A-are you sure? You know what I am…”</p><p>“Oh, I know.” Eleanor cuts him off; “And I don’t believe there’s a single ‘monster’ bone left in that body.”</p><p>“Well, my real form doesn’t have bones.”</p><p>Interesting. She should probably be horrified, but she’s strangely intrigued.</p><p>“Figure of speech, dude. I see what I see.” She tells him, shifting so that she’s on his lap; “And I like what I see. In fact…I really, <em>really</em> like it…And I think you’ve been liking what you’ve seen for even longer, am I right?”</p><p>He doesn’t answer. Because he doesn’t have to.</p><p>“Just as I thought.” She whispers; “So how about it? You wanna have another go at the food hole thing?”</p><p>He slowly nods.</p><p>Eleanor smiles, leaning in, brushing the tip of her nose against his as she brings their lips closer for attempt number two. Michael’s fingers press against her back, wanting her closer, the hunger evident in his breathing and his touch, as she-</p><p>“Er-hem!”</p><p>The extremely British fake throat-clearing makes them freeze.</p><p>Eleanor turns around to see their friends stood several feet away, Chidi and Tahani with the faces of two deers caught in the headlights, while Jason is beaming like a loon, with Janet smirking knowingly at his side. The bags of food and drink in their hands is very close to being dumped unceremoniously on the ground from the shock.</p><p>“I think you guys are gonna have to catch us up on some stuff.” Says Chidi after giving his glasses a wipe.</p><p>Oh…just a few little details.</p><p> </p>
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